Thursday, February 5, 2009


i don't know if this is completely against blog etiquette ((if that exists)) but i came across this blog and thought it was absolutely hilarious and i had to share... i know i say 'lol' a lot but i was literally laughing out loud when i read it. it's from the blog The Pink Shoe Diaries. i feel like she says some of the dumb ish i would probably say.. then feels like an ass afterwards.. which is exactly how i feel after i say things sometimes.. lolol.. you know the 'damn.. why did i just say that' thought.?! because to you it's funny.. but not everyone thinks the same things are funny... anyway.. here, read it.

((hopefully, there's not copyright rules in the blog world.. even tho, in my defense.. i'm not claiming it to be my words and i gave a link to her blog... so maddd props to the writer of this blog.. because this honestly is one of the funniest blogs i've read))

I'm glad I have a boyfriend.

Before you run away and barf, please note that I'm not being all sappy and corny about it, don't worry. What I mean is I am so happy I have a boyfriend because I have become a fucking creep and it's best that I am off the market for the good of mankind.
Honestly I think having a boyfriend for the past five years it was MADE me a creep. I feel like I can say what I want with no repercussions. When I was single I at least checked myself a little bit. But now? I freely basically and usually inadvertantly hit on guys because I know they know I am not serious because everyone knows I am with and love Adam so who cares? And Adam knows I'm not serious so.....? But I am also pretty sure I have always been kind of a creep. And also I have absolutely no game. Even a girl in a relationship should still try and have some kind of game, so pity for that. All of which is to say that I'm pretty sure if I were a dude, I would be a dirty old man.

This story is nothing without examples.
Last week a coworker turned to me and was all "Are you going to go nuts decorating this place for Valentine's Day?"
"Of course" I replied
"Well can you make me a sign that says "Single Dude, In Need of a Valentine" to hang outside my office?"
"How about I make you a sign that says "The Champagne Room"
"..........." he said.
"You know", I continued, "like at a strip club?"
"Oh....ok" he said.

CREEP!!!! I have no idea why I even said that. I turned away and repeated a mantra I have become all to familiar with "In 5 minutes, I won't feel like a tool. In five minutes, I won't feel like a tool" and sure enough within 5 minutes I was like "Whatever that was totally funny".

And then there was the time when I came up to my friend Henry and was all "Hey did you see the new guy? Tres cute" and Henry turned around only it wasn't Henry at all, it was the cute new guy who looks just like Henry from behind. CREEP!

And then there is this past weekend where I kept telling my new friend Kenny that I was going to put roofies in his drink. REPEATEDLY. ALL NIGHT LONG. One inference to date rape is OK....ten or twelve over the course of a night is just bad taste. CREEP.

... there's a lot more, but that's the part that made me laugh..

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