Thursday, December 18, 2008

the great pretenders.

my love affair with Bella, Edward, and Jacob has ended.  :(  the series was amazing... i loved every page of each of the books.. 

now i'm reading Eat, Love, Pray and it has me thinking ((uh oh)) lol

The past few months and the months ahead are a time of self inquiry for me too in a way.  i have been.. and continue to search for meaning in my that sounds dramatic but i mean.. the why's.. you know.?  there's more to life than work on weekdays and parties and clubs on the weekends.. I want to be happy and make sure that i've done my part to make others happy too.. and i def want to do it the right way..I know that i'm headed in the right direction with my career.. i'm happy and i know that i'll be doing what i feel very passionate about.. teaching others... and learning from them as well... now don't get worried.. this isn't leading to the 'i want to settle down and have babies' talk most women have... i'm not jumping on that bandwagon.. lol.. plenty of time for that... i mean more on a spiritual level. inner peace and tranquility. not the hippie type.. and not really on an OD level.. i'm not about to convert religions or anything ((lol))  just getting rid of all the negativity and the BS and being happy... completely.. genuinely happy. not pretending... and i think i'm doing pretty good.. things won't always be perfect.. that's obvious. ish happens.. i just want to try to have that 'inner peace' so i can climb over the obstacles without going crazy. haha. we'll see.... ;) 

in all this thinking, i realized that i have been a 'pretender' at times.  you know.. where you pretend to be a certain way but in all honesty you're not.  it's worse than lying to others because you're lying to yourself.  at the time tho, you really believe it to be true because you're doing such a good job at pretending that you even believe yourself.  i see it happen all too often.  it's the people you know living the life of false happiness. dang. but there's also the people that are the fake A.holes (girls and guys both).. who act all big and bad but are really softies.. it's just their way of protecting themselves from reality or what could happen... or the people that come off as being arrogant but once you get to know them they're actually pretty insecure.. they just use the arrogance as a mask.?!?! 

just some thoughts.


Ann Taylor LOFT is the best store ever for cute work clothes... when i find things small enough to fit me LOL.. and they have petites.!!!! they had a buy one get one free sale when i was there on Tuesday.!!! no seriously.. 
so i picked up some cute tops for my internship.!
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yea and i got it in blue too... lol
the sale is still going on so hurry... get your work swagger on.. =) 

can someone please tell sephora and MAC to have a big sale now.?! 

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